It’s amazing how much someone can have an impact on you, even if you knew them for only two summers. I met Will Dew at my YWAM SST phase one. He was the leader for the entire group, and his charisma and love were the two things that stood out to me when I first met him. What a happy and joyful guy. It was clear to me that this was a man of God–his faith was impenetrable. I remember one night near the end of missions training, the speaker described to us Jesus’ crucifixion in medical terms so we could truly realize and understand the pain He went through for us. I finally understood, and it moved me and my fellow brothers and sisters to tears. Will prayed for me that night, and I’ll never forget it. It was the first time I truly felt the Holy Spirit, and anyone who’s experienced it will know exactly what I’m talking about. The first time is something special that will stay with you forever.
I loved that guy. He could coax a smile out of all of us even in the most dire and discouraging circumstances, and he would always encourage us. We could all see how God was doing amazing things in his life and using him as a warrior for the Kingdom. I found out today that he and his wife Tanya were in a terrible car accident last week. Will suffered a lot of broken bones, including a shattered face, while Tanya is in critical condition with brain swelling. From what I’ve heard, there’s a high chance she’ll be mentally handicapped for the rest of her life. This is the first time I’ve ever had someone close to me critically injured, and I don’t know what to do. I hate this feeling of helplessness. But I know we can pray for them. And I will. Today I prayed hard for the first time in a while. Maybe this is a sign that I need to change my ways. I’ll admit it, I haven’t been living a Christlike life ever since coming to school. There have just been too many things going on for me to focus on God, if that makes any sense. Here’s how I’ve felt for a while now. I know God’s power and glory because I’ve directly experienced it. It’s just that I want to delay it so that I can have fun and enjoy the pleasures of the world. Terrible, I know. But it’s the truth. I need to change.
I don’t want to make this post about myself, but I just wanted to add another thing. I’m going to be a counselor for the NCFC youth winter retreat over break. But the problem is, I don’t feel worthy. My current condition isn’t acceptable. It wouldn’t be fair to the kids in my group to have a fake and awful Christian like me as their counselor. So I don’t know. I’ll think about it some more, and I’ll try to clean up my act and get right with God. Please pray for me guys.
I believe that God can and will heal the Dews. Let’s all pray for them, even if you don’t really know Will or Tanya. Every single prayer counts. This picture characterizes Will’s love and joy perfectly. I love you man, and I know you’re destined for big things. You and Tanya will pull through. I know it.
You know you really like someone when a few times a day your heart lights up because you think you see her off in the distance, but then you’re filled with disappointment when you realize it isn’t her.
That sums it up quite nicely.
It really does feel good to be home and temporarily sheltered from the concept of doing work all week tomorrow. The few days before Thanksgiving break I was an emotional wreck, with so much work piled on top of other problems that I had been having. I really need to get myself together. I can’t go on like this anymore, I know I can’t. I need this brief respite at home to replenish me and restore me.
I left Brown on Tuesday night for my friend Mike’s place in Connecticut with a few other friends. I had a great time. It’s nice having that core group of guys you know you can trust and depend on. Girls come and go, but it’s your guy friends that will always be there for you. Word? Anyway, the following day a few more of our friens from Brown came over to his house so we shared a Thanksgiving feast and had some fun bonding time- which involved Ping Pong, Pool, Wii, and most importantly, some sick karaoke. We stayed up the whole night until I had to catch my train at 9 in the morning to get to Union Station in DC. I’m ambivalent about trains. On the one hand, they’re extremely convenient because you don’t have to check in any luggage or go through screening, but they take so much longer than planes! Next time I’m definitely going to stick with flying. It only takes like an hour and 10 minutes from Providence to DC.
While I was writing this post, I got sidetracked and started looking at old pictures on Facebook. Lots of good memories there. Sometimes, I wish there was a machine that would let me relive the experience of any photo I put in it. I love pictures. Things that popped in my mind as I was browsing through the past:
- I miss all those summer programs I did to beef up my college application: NSLC and CTY for particular. Oh man, I miss CTY so much…
- Dale and I look so different now whereas Edward and Paul still look basically the same.
- So glad those acne days of freshman, sophomore, and junior years are over. Worst invention ever created by God hands down.
- Old feelings being rekindled.
- What the hell was I wearing…
- YWAM Phase I and II were definitely two of the best experiences I’ve had in my life. I’d go back any day. I wish I could have the guts/time/faith to do a DTS. I can’t wait till Mark gets back and tells us all about his travels. I’ve missed that kid.
I have so much work to do when I get back to school on Sunday. Looks like I’m going to have another week dominated by coffee and red bull again :/ But it’s okay though. It’s so worth it seeing everyone back home again!
Some people never change, even when you are willing to look past all their faults and give them a fresh start. I’m too naive.
Last week when I was home, I finally got a new phone. The Motorola Droid. This sexy puppy
It has a touchscreen that ACTUALLY works well, a keyboard (which was really hard to use at first but now I’m getting used to, and sick features such as free navigation system, integrated Gmail/Google access, Wi-Fi, and the fantastic marketplace where I can get apps and games. My favorite part is probably the way it’s integrated with Gmail and Google. There’s a feature in iCal (which is the calendar app for the Mac), where you can link your google calendar to it. So now I can update my schedule in iCal and then it would automatically sync it via the internet to the calendar on my phone. And vice versa. It’s glorious. Plus there’s a 16gb micro SD card that comes with it so there’s a lot of space for me to put my music and videos. AND, texts are displayed in conversation mode, which means the entire conversation shows up on the screen so I don’t have to look back and forth between text messages.
Better than the Iphone? The Iphone’s media player capabilities are definitely better and it’s much more simple to use, but I think the Droid fits me more than the Iphone does. I love having a physical keyboard to text with, and I’m a huge fan of Google applications like Gmail, Google Calendar, and Google Reader. Plus, it’s on Verizon, which I think is much better than AT&T.
My last phone was the Samsung Glyde, AKA this piece of crap.
Oh, it may look good on the outside, but much like a ditsy individual, there wasn’t much substance inside. The touchscreen was god-awful, which meant I would have to press the screen like fifty million times to get anything done, the keys on the keyboard were way too freaking small, and the software of the phone was just bad. Worst phone I ever had in my life. Honestly, I would have rather just kept my previous simple flip phone. The Glyde was just a huge pain to have.
So anyway, that is all. I’m happy about the phone.
Going back home this past weekend was so refreshing. Seeing nearly everyone again made me so happy. No matter how much I love it here at Brown, it’s nice to know I’ll always have a home to go back to, a place where I’m loved for who I am. You guys have no idea how much I missed NCFC. The church and fellowship here is good and all, but not having you guys here with me is a huge difference. I’m actually coming back for Thanksgiving, which is next week so I’ll be back soon
John Mayer’s new album Battle Studies came out on Tuesday, something I’ve been waiting for a long time. I’ve been listening to it nonstop for the past two days. Favorite tracks on the album that you should check out: Edge of Desire, Heartbreak Warfare, Half of My Heart, and War of My Life. Best song without a doubt is Edge of Desire. It has the jazzy and bluesy form he started using in Heavier Things and Continuum, and it’s beautiful and real.
I was really excited for Heartbreak Warfare because I saw a live version on Youtube a few months ago. Check it out.
I love this acoustic version a lot better than the one on the album. Like he says in the clip, it’s definitely a bit too overproduced, not gonna lie. It’s still a great song though. The album on the whole is pretty good, but it didn’t live up to my expectations after Continuum, which was an amazing album. It’s all about heartbreak and love, but it’s a little bit too melodramatic at times. Look John, I get it, you’re sad after your breakup with Jen, but PULL IT TOGETHER MAN! No worries, still love you though.
I still need some time to fully know how I feel about the other songs on the album, but I freaking hate the song Who Says. I don’t understand why he’d choose that song as the lead single off of the album. It’s just so boring and simple. It just doesn’t fit his style. But that’s all about Battle Studies for now. It’s definitely one worth buying though, so check it out.
It’s nice being back at Brown. I missed everyone over the weekend! This is my second home, and I love it to death. These next few weeks before finals are gonna be killer though, yuck. 3 big essays due. Consequently, this will probably be the last update in a while. Until then, later!
I saw Emma again at the gym today. Is it strange that this no longer is a big deal to me? In my eyes, she’s just another girl in my grade who just happens to be famous. So yeah, I gave her tips on lifting of all things HAHA. She didn’t want to become huge but wanted the lean look, so she wanted to know what she should do. This is where having a knowledge of these things comes in handy. Told her to do less weight, more reps. That’s what’s up.
So that was a small part of my week that pops up in mind. Otherwise, not a lot has been going on these past two weeks. No midterms, no papers, nothing. It almost makes me feel worthless a little bit, not doing a lot of homework at all. But it’s definitely a blessing for sure. The weeks before this brief hiatus were absolute hell, so I’m super thankful.
I’m also so thankful and excited to be going back home on Friday! I’ll be in Maryland Friday night and will be at church on Sunday. I hope to see all your beautiful faces there (except Kimbo of course HAHA just kiddinggg).
I’ve realized that there’s a correlation between how long my posts are and how many comments I receive. Apparently, the shorter it is, the better. Haha I bet it’s because most people are too lazy to read an entire block of text. Hey, I’m not judging, I do exactly the same thing. Short and succinct is good.
Life is also good. I’ve been really happy lately. College doesn’t even seem like school–there’s too much fun for me to consider it school. But then again, high school probably would have been a lot more fun if I hadn’t gone to Woodberry so my conception of college might be vastly different than the typical view. Oh well, I’m definitely having the time of my life here, and when I see some of you this weekend, feel free to ask me about it!
This duet is one of the most beautiful things I’ve heard in my life. The harmony during the chorus… omg. It moves me to tears almost. haha I know it’s annoying having to watch these things but please give it a listen at least!
These past few weeks have been a blur. I had all my midterms and essays in the span of the last two weeks, and it was a pretty miserable experience. But it’s okay. I’m done now, and this week is going to be a breeze. For my English class, I had a midterm and a paper in back to back weeks. I really thought I did well on both of them, but I didn’t end up doing as well as I thought. Like, every other class here has been going really well for me except for Englsih. It’s really frustrating, but I’m meeting with the professor soon so I’ll be able to figure out what exactly I’ve been doing wrong. I guess it’s because I’ve treated the class like my high school English class, procrastinating to the max. No worries though. I know I can do better. AHH SO FRUSTRATING THOUGH!
On a lighter note, this past weekend was a blast. It was Halloweekend, and at Brown, that means a lot of fun times. For Friday night, I dressed up as a preppy douchebag like I had said I would. It honestly really wasn’t that hard. I realized I’ve accumulated a lot of that kind of clothing throughout four years of southern boarding school hahaha. Which leads to another topic. When I was a little kid, my mom dressed me up like the prepster I would grow up to be. I remember shopping at Polo Ralph Lauren many times. Then, I had my gangster phase, which was during late elementary school and middle school. South Pole and Ecko Ultd dominated my life. Thinking about it now, it’s rather quite hilarious that I’ve changed so much. Now if I had to be labeled as a certain type, I’d probably be a “prep,” which is fine with me haha. But I’m not the full-out Southern prep. In case you’re wondering what that is, it’s a person who wears khakis daily with a nice collared oxford shirt with sperrys. Bright colors are the norm and the shorter the shorts, the better. That’s what I had to live through at Woodberry haha. In contrast, I like mixing it up much more with the designer t-shirts and jeans even though the southern prep look is always enticing every once in a while. I love my clothes =)
Anyway, Saturday night I dressed up as a baller, which took me back to my middle school roots. That was so much freaking fun. Just look at my profile picture for a visual haha. So my two Halloween costumes were completely on opposite poles. Fun, fun, fun. That’s how I would describe my weekend 
I’ve been taking it easy with the girl situation. Prior to coming to college, I really really did want to have a relationship and meet a special girl as soon as possible. But I’ve realized that I was completely wrong. Girls cause so much headaches, seriously (no offense intended). And relationships just take too much time and effort, at least in my point of view. Don’t take me wrong, if the right person shows up then I would definitely go for it, but why actively search for that person? I’ve got time. I’m only a freshman, after all. And keeping my options open is definitely more appealing right now. It’s a way to ensure having fun. Fun has been the main focus of my first two months here, but I can see how it can get old after a while. That’s why I’m going to soak up freshman year as much as possible and experience everything I can.
I’m coming back home next weekend! I’ll be back Friday night so I’m thinking about visiting some people at CP. I miss all of you so much! Why am I coming back? Well, it’s EHS weekend for Woodberry. Basically, it’s a huge rivalry football game between Woodberry and Episcopal High School that happens every year. It’s apparently like the longest lasting high school football rivalry game in the nation, so it’s a huge deal. A bunch of alumni always come out every year so it’ll be interesting coming back not as a student but as an alum I’ll definitely hang out with you guys over the weekend sometime and I’ll be at church Sunday. I’m so excited.
Anyway, I need to do some homework now so I’ll update again soon!
Proverb #1:
When in a dormitory, always knock and wait at least a full five seconds before entering, because you never know what might be going on inside.
Oh man, the things I’m learning at college…
The first of many more proverbs to come
